It was a great day today !! Feeling very happy nowadays ... also dun noe y ... maybe its becoz I have seen thru life ? hahaha ... feeling super hyper today coz I slept at 7pm last night !!! Becoz of that , I did not eat my favorite Tang Yuans !! Sianz ... must pester my mum to cook for me again ~!

98.7FM aka Perfect 10 rox man !! Everyday on my way to my camp , I will switch on to 98.7FM and listen to Daniel Ong & Grace Chua 's morning show ... world news , sports news , entertainment news , weird stories & etc ... you name it and they have it ... just love the way they entertain their listeners and the way they poke fun at each other ... they are always there to make my day better without thinking that I am on my way to serve my National Service ...

Read up on an article on Digital Life on Tuesday about the life of this women ... it really moved me after reading this article as life could be so fragile ... It made me to realise that life could be so vunlerable and we should live everyday as if it is the last day of our life coz we never know when will we leave for Heaven ...

As Qouted From Digital Life [21/12/2004] :

"
There are almost five million blogs - online diaries - in cyberspace as compared to two years ago when there were only 100,000, according to Technorati, a real-time blog search engine. A few weeks ago, the publishers of the Merriam-Webster dictionary officially announced that 'blog' - which is also commonly known as 'weblog' - was its word of the year for 2004.

Singaporeans also blog, and their online diaries win awards, too. For instance, the blog of 20-year-old Wendy Cheng (see page 6), Why Are You Worshipping The Ground I Blog On? (xiaxue.blogspot. com), was voted into the top spot in the Best Asian Blog category for the 2004 Weblog Awards (http://2004weblog awards.com/).

But one blog about a Singapore-born woman that didn't win any awards but won the hearts of many people around the world is the diary of 32-year-old Grace Chow. She died on Dec 6 from a rare tumour growing at the base of her skull called chordoma, for which there is no cure. She was diagnosed three years ago, but only started keeping a blog (www.dyingis.blogspot.com) after her voice became too weak and her speech was affected. The blog became an avenue for her to express herself and to keep in contact with friends and family.

Grace achieved her dream of writing a book called A Pain In The Neck just a year before she died, but her blog about her last 11 days remains an inspiration to those who find comfort in her positive attitude towards life. The last entry in her blog which is called Dying Is... was posted by her husband, Mr Ton de Vries, informing readers that his wife had died. This posting prompted more than 30 people to leave comments on Grace's blog. There were others who responded through her website and these are not seen on the blog.

Most came from all over the world and just wanted to express their condolences, and gratitude for the blog as they found it inspiring and beautiful,' said Mr de Vries, who still gets reactions from people who read the blog. Here are excerpts from Dying Is.


Day 0 (Nov 21)

There's so much to tell. But I don't know who to tell it to. I've even written a book, but that doesn't seem enough now...

Today I've found the resolve to start. I start with the modest hope that there will be many days of dying to come. That I will continue to have enough coordination in my hands and fingers to type on my keyboard to keep this blog going. And that, perhaps, there will be someone worth telling all this to.


Day 1 (Nov 22)

Today I noticed that my right hand isn't as nimble as it normally was anymore. I'm holding spoons in a different way now so they won't fall out of my hand easily. The question is: how long can I still use my hands? I remember that the situation deteriorated very quickly the last time, before my operation.

So often I feel that I am the only one with any semblance of haste. I am in a hurry to do everything, and I want to do it today, not tomorrow - this week, and not the next. The concept of the future doesn't exist for me anymore.


Day 2 (Nov 23)

It was a beautiful day today! It was sunny. A nice change from the gloomy cloudy skies of the past week.

I took the entire afternoon to bake my chocolate cake. But it does look good. Now I only need people to eat it, and it'll be perfect.


Day 3 (Nov 24)

What do you say to friends who say 'I'm sure you will get well soon'? What is the basis of their faith that I'm actually not dying, but merely undergoing a phase that will be temporary before life starts kicking in again? Do they know something I don't

The enthusiasm to believe that I will get better is based on the reluctance to think about the concept of death.

You do not comfort me with your assurance that I won't die, because escaping death is not what I'm longing for. What I'm longing for is for you to understand what death is. Look it in the eye and see it for what it is. And then you'll see that understanding death is the only one and true liberation...

Day 4 (Nov 25)

I slept till 9 o'clock this morning! I was so glad I could sleep longer last night than I have the past week... Perhaps I can finally catch up on all that lost sleep and won't feel drowsy the whole day, 'cause there's nothing more irritating than having to sleep away all that precious little time I have left! And nothing more irritating than having so little energy!


Day 5 (Nov 26)

Now and then I have the urge to cry, and then I mean really to wail my lungs out. To cry over everything that's overcome and is overcoming me, over how it will all end for me. Today was such a day.

My pain increased again this morning...The strength in my right arm and hand is going much faster than I have feared.

Sadness is such an overwhelming emotion. It has a way of derailing all your plans for the day and snuffing out your energy. I guess sometimes you just have to drown yourself in sorrow. I'm drowning...


Day 6 (Nov 29)

Today I've become a southpaw. The right side of my body is now so weak that I've got to use my left arm, leg, foot, fingers, etc, to do almost everything. I had an appointment at the hospital and it became clear that my trip with Ton to the city centre 2 days ago was my last trip outside.


Day 7 (Nov 30)

It was wonderful to have some bit of energy again, even though I can hardly do much more. I can still walk to the toilet myself, but my days of cooking/baking are clearly over.

I will have to be the chef this week, calling the shots in the kitchen, while Ton will have to be the assistant cook, doing the actual cutting and frying.

After this week, I consider myself officially retired from the kitchen.

It is lovely to have Ton around in the house all day... I can't ask for more. Well, no actually, I can ask for more. But I just won't. :)


Day 8 (Dec 1)

One of the things I wrote about in my book... is how dying will be more difficult for the people around me than it'll be for me.

I, for starters, won't need to cope with my death once I'm dead.

It is easier to let everything go when you die, but when someone you love is dying, you'd want to hold on to as much of him as you can instead.


Day 9 (Dec 2)

It seems that death took a couple of free days off. I felt great yesterday and today.

If he stays so nice and sweet, I will go on a march... to demand better working benefits for Death. Paid vacations, early retirement lots and lots of sabbaticals. Now is this a deal or not


Day 10 (Dec 5)

My body is breaking down in so many ways that I wonder what I will die of in the end. One of these days the tumour will probably damage a nerve with fatal consequences.

Perhaps it will become so difficult for me to get my mucus out of my throat that I will simply suffocate.

And then there's the possibility that my right foot will get an infection.


Post-note from Grace's husband, Ton de Vries: (Dec 6, 2004)

After a three-year battle against Death, he came to take her tonight.

But as she was thankful for his blessings last week, she will be grateful again.

"